What would you do if you were me?

Seberapa sering orang minta pendapat kita ketika mereka sedang dirundung masalah? Entah itu teman, saudara, atau mungkin kenalan. Pasti pernah kan kita ditanya, “kalau kamu jadi aku, kamu pilih yang mana?” Atau sebaliknya, justru kita yang minta pendapat orang lain. Kalau kita yang ditanya, apa jawaban kita, paling sering sih “terserah kamu.” Jawaban ini selain tidak menjawab pertanyaan juga mengecewakan si penanya. Lalu bagaimana kita harus bersikap jika dimintai pendapat? Agak susah memang menjawab pertanyaan sederhana ini. Kita tidak berada di posisi si penanya, kita tidak merasakan apa yang dia rasakan, berandai-andai pun belum tentu berhasil. Tapi bukan berarti kita tidak memberi pendapat. Kita tetap harus berpendapat. Bukan sebagai orang yang berada di posisinya, tapi sebagai seseorang yang sedikit mengerti tentang dia. Kita ungkapkan saja pendapat pribadi kita, apa yang menurut kita tepat untuknya. Memang kita tidak mengenal dia sebaik dirinya sendiri, setidaknya pendapat kita bisa (semoga) menyadarkan dia dan membantu dia dalam memilih keputusan. Keputusan akhir tetap di tangannya, kita hanya memberi sedikit petunjuk sebelum ia memutuskan. Masalah dia mau mendengar atau tidak, itu terserah dia.
Jika situasinya terbalik, kita sebagai penanya, apa yang harusnya kita lakukan. Haruskah kita menanyakan kalimat di atas? Sebaiknya tidak, karena kita tidak akan mendapat jawaban yang memuaskan. Kita tidak bisa memaksa orang lain memposisikan diri mereka sebagai kita. Hal itu tidak akan berhasil. Kita lah yang punya masalah, bukan mereka. Meminta pendapat mereka itu sah saja, tapi memaksa mereka membuat keputusan untuk kita, itu tidak benar. Kita lah yang nantinya akan menjalani keputusan itu bukan mereka. Yang terbaik bagi mereka belum tentu terbaik bagi kita. Hanya kita yang tahu apa yang sebenarnya kita mau. Mereka hanya bisa membantu memberi pendapat, memberitahu plus minus tiap pilihan, dan memberi saran untuk kita. Keputusan tetap ada di tangan kita. Resiko dari pilihan kita, kita juga yang menanggungnya. Sebelum mengambil keputusan, kita harus bertanya pada diri sendiri, “siapkah kita menanggung resiko?”

About me…

How would you describe yourself? Don’t know? Have no idea? Well, me too. If people asked me how I would describe myself I would have more than five minutes just for thinking. Thinking about what I would say. On the opposite if people asked me to describe my closest friend I would have thousands words to describe her. I don’t need to think. It’s ridiculous I guess. How can we not know ourselves but know about others? I think the funniest thing is because it’s not that we don’t know about ourselves but we are shame to tell others about us. We’re shame admitting ourselves as the persons we are. Sounds confusing? Well, my point is we find it’s difficult to describe ourselves because we are afraid of showing them who we really are. For example if we were lazy person. We would not mention it in our description because we don’t want they know it. We tend to show our good things and bury our bad things. It’s very common.
Now, how would I describe myself? Well, I just have one word for my description. Complicated… Yes I am. I would say that I have a very complicated personalities, I have both devil and angel inside. I can be an angel one day and a devil in the other day. I’m good at pretending. Pretending to be a good listener when I don’t give a damn about their stories. Selfish is what I am, sometimes I put myself on top of everybody else. Who doesn’t? Some people might say they are not selfish, but I don’t buy it. We tend to put ourselves first. May be I am a selfish person but sometimes I can be a humble person too. As far I remember I never show off. I will let them know by themselves not by telling them what I’m able at or what I have. I’m quiet but it doesn’t mean I never talk. I do talk. Telling a story, laughing loudly, I do it too, but only on certain occasion and depend on who’s with me. I’d rather spend my days at home than hanging out with others. I’m introvert and insensitive. I don’t care what they say or think about me as long as I feel secure, I’ll be fine. People say I’m cynical, well I’m not I’m just trying to be realistic. Seeing the world not as it seems but look at something behind it carefully. Not taking for granted for everything is what I’m doing.
Every single day I learn something new. Something new about me. I’m getting to know myself better than before. I find that we were born by knowing nothing and die by knowing everything. It means that we gain our knowledge by living our lives. Including our knowledge about ourselves. As long as I’m still breathing I can describe myself. But…until today that’s all I know about myself and everything…

The hardest thing…

What would be the hardest thing in the world? No, it’s not the job or profession but the thing that we must do. Something like forgiving, forgetting, or else. But forgiving is not the hardest thing for me. It’s something that I can do easily. Don’t believe me? You’d better believe it. The hardest thing is letting it go. I mean it… Letting everything go is not as easy as forgiving. When you lost someone, something, you must deal with the fact you will not be able to see him/he or it anymore. You must live without their present for the rest of your life. Not just that, when you lost an opportunity (whether that is a job or anything) you may regret it. Day by day it still remains on your mind, you keep asking why, why, and why you lost the opportunity. Then you start to blame yourself, punish yourself for everything. When you do that, I would say that you are not letting it go. You don’t accept the fact there is thing that can not be replied. Thing has to be done that way for some reason. You’re not dealing with the reality, in fact your running from it. I do it. Trust me I’ve been in that situation. Honestly, I’m still in that situation now. I’m not letting go everything. I’m running away from the fact that I might not be able to see it anymore to get the second change. I’m punishing myself for everything. Someday I have to let it go, have to wake up and facing it. That day will come but not today…

Not lost just undiscovered…

Why would I use those words? It is a song title by James Morrison, but I’m not going to talk about the song. I don’t even know the lyrics or the song’s meaning. I use these words because I like it. These words represent what I feel about myself, especially what I’m doing. It does mean that I’m lost or missing or something. Well my body is not lost, people can see me, but my soul and my mind, and I don’t know where it is. I don’t know how to say it; I don’t even know how to describe what I feel. I just feel that may be I’m lost… not physically but mentally. But mostly I feel that I am undiscovered. Undiscovered by whom? I don’t know… by them, and by myself. What I mean by undiscovered is not that I’m hiding somewhere and people couldn’t see me. I’m not talking about my physical body, I’m not invisible, and people can see me. I’m talking about my ability, my talent. I’m sure I do have something that I can be proud of. Some talent or ability to do something that can be useful in my work life or my life as a whole. I don’t know. May be I just don’t know where or how to find it. People just don’t see it. It is not lost, it is just undiscovered. Someday it will be discovered by me. I’m still trying to find it. And when the day comes, I’ll show them… that I am discovered. I’ll use it (my ability) to get the perfect job for me. The one suits me most. I’ll find it, and I’ll fulfill my destiny. Hope that day will come…